Sunday, April 08, 2007 11:57 PM
you used to be the reason, for my smile.
okok i'm finally back here. hahas. not online for quite sometime to me. lols. some "matters" to report here.. hahas.
wed had news of ah ma de situation not being very good.. and of course my mum didnt feel well too.. the last entry jiu show how i feel le.. but thank god(s).. and also to those who have helped to pray if u did.. my ah ma is finally much better de next day.. can talk can eat.. and de doc said that its due to dunno wad high blood pressure medicine.. hais!!. now really jus wished tat she will quickly get well and go home..
tat day went out with steph winnie and ck. went tm.. and this "memorable" thing came up..
whenever someone asks u whether the food is nice.. DO NOT.... do not say.."nice, not nice or OK LA." lols. always offer them with wad u have.. like "u wan to eat?" or "you wan one?".. lols. this is the FIRST time i heard this kind of theory. haahs. dun worry steph.. i think its deep enough for me to remember for life. hahas.
thurs lehs. omg. the MOST memorable day ba. met up with annie to buy donuts. from the DONUT FACTORY. after tat while queueing steph and winnie came and join us and QUEUE together. omg. if i;m not wrong.. we started queueing around 2.2opm. and guess.. we GOT our donuts at around 8pm!!. 5+hours sia.!! at first tot tat since they say is nice..i dun mind..but..after eating de donut.. lols. ERM... yes its nice.. but i dun think i'll go back and buy or queue again. hahas. TOO LONG!!. lols. i rather eat Aunty Anne. =|
nah here are some of the donut factory pics..
and this is de donuts.. ps.. had them taken only after eating. lols. look abit unsightly..
thurs nite went visit ah ma again.. mummy sae shes better le.. *phew.. guess everyone of us.. also felt a sign of relief.. can see ah yi they all also got smiles on their face le...
fri good fri.. public holiday.. morning wake up early.. cos didi got tuition..i also dunno i wake up early for wad.. he tuition also not me.. lols. see some channel 8 show.. and went to bathe.. my parents sae after ah boy tuition jiu go out all the way le.. don come home till nite.. so after my bro tuition finish.. jiu went to see ah ma first.. see le.. went vivo JUS BECAUSE ah boy make noise so how many days.. omg.. sae dao this part jiu angry.. he last few days make noise dun wan go sch.. my father jiu promise him.. buy roller skate for him.. WA KAOS!. i beg for how many years since now also dun have.. sae dangerous or wad... bla bla bla.. now jus to mkae him go sch jiu buy for him.. wad is this other than favouritism lehs? shit lehs..
somemore leaving hospital tat time.. bicker abit with my brother.. then i duno wad happen to him.. his wallet jus shoot straight to my stomach and hit it..OUCH!!! very painful arhs!!!. stupid boy so damn violent.. and the thing is he dun even bother to sae a sorry even if its an accident man.. then nvm.. my mother scolded him and demanded him to apologise.. he jus kept his mouth super shut.. and she said u dun apologise we go home.. dun go vivo liao.. and ask my father to go go home tat road.. wa lau ehs.. my father nt only dun wan to go home..stil sae..aiya promise him liao.. bla bla bla.. wa kaos. isnt this a VERY OBVIOUS FAV*.. idiot.. if now i am the one who accidentally hit my brother.. the result will CONFIRM be go home de la.. i very angry very bu kan xin and very..... PAIN!. and the thing is.. my mum still sae "got really tat pain mehs?"
grrr.. ok lor.. now since i noe wad u all are thinking.. then wads de use if i keep brooding over it since u all doesnt seem to care abit rite.. come on la.. not tat i wan to be calculative or wad.. my birthday present u all haven buy yet.. u all keep saying wan to give me $ to buy but where is it? ok i understand FULLY if u say u are tight or wad.. and i didnt make noise to u all like he did.. but a birhtday present and a present jus for asking him to go to sch.. isnt it ridiculous.. and the present is not sweets or wad.. its a pair of ROLLER SKATES which i asked for years but i didnt got it but now.. to keep him goin to school he has all these which i call them PURELY "INCENTIVES!" its all still comes down to one word.. FAVOURITISM wad.. btw if anyone out there happen to read these.. tell me its not.. cos i also HOPE that its not.. but sometimes when things like these happen.. i cant help it..
and of course.. reach vivo i went straight to the toilet.. "LET GO" abit and came out.. my father saw me and ask pain or not.. i jus shoot back.."pain or not wads the difference? do u all care?" and he goes.." why u like tat are?" xP. wad i'm trying to sae is that.. whether its pain or not.. NOW its already at VIVO.. HE has already won wad.. so wads de diff if i sae its pain.. or if he saes a SORRY now.. got use ma? he is already on his way to get his skates.. wad happen jus now of whether saying a sorry to me will affect his vivo trip here.. DOES NOT matter anymore le wad..
walk walk walk ALONE.. headed into GIANT with them.. he was so excited man.. to see all de skates there.. go la.. be as high as u can.. while the more ppl dont care me.. de better.. jsu like the phrase THE MORE THE MERRIER isnt it? after tat dunno wad happen father and son come talk to me.. i didnt ans them.. cos i suddenly had de feel NOT to ans them.. lols. papa told him to come apologise to me.. OF COURSE he is not stupid he did la.. but i told him to GO AWAY!.. and he jus goes.. u see papa..............................................................................................................................
pls lor i dun think i will accept it.. u win le.. saying a SORRY is chicken feet lor. BLEAHS!
after tat sadly here dun have the "suitable" one or wad.. went to carrefour after tat.. i was like.. Like tat also shuang arhs? wa kaos. de more i think de angrier i become.. jus because of getting him to go sch everydaay SHUN SHUN LI LI.. u make such efforts to him.. then wad abt me? is [getting him to sch shun shun li li] more impt than a [birthday present] which is supposed to be bought earlier?
come on ppl. tell me that I'm jus JEALOUS of him pls. so tat i'll feel better tat if its not FAVOURITISM.
sat woke up early AGAIN!. to bring him go tuition and then went out with my mum.. i dun understand why after all i'm still doin so much for this little guy.. taking care of him during the holidays is already a big shou huo for him lor.. once again for him but not me.. is this fair? oh yeah i forgot.. the world isnt fair after all.
after tat went to see ah ma again.. and then have dinner.. stomach still pain and feeling bu shuang.. but will they noe? NO. tat time something happen at home again.. didnt wan to bother cos i think i'm bothering abit too much which i'm not supposed to bother.. but seeing wad happen later makes me FIRE MORE. bang bang bang.!!. lols. my mother started to fa pi qi and didnt wan to sleep.. went to do housework instead JUS BECAUSE my brother tuition teacher coming to play badminton with him the next day.. and de thing is.. my father jus went to slp.. omg. when will he ever start to care for my mother huh? doesnt he noe tat ah ma now like tat.. everyday go hospital at almost EVERY meal times.. why cant he jus sae something like go to rest.. or wad.. why why why?? why is he always the bo chap type.. i'm jus feeling very angry with him for being quiet abt it.. and when i ask him.. he sae mummmy noe de la.. ?!?!?!? shes ur wife shes my mummy lehs.. u sae she noe de la.. wads this??!?!
maybe i interfere too much with this.. but let me ask one question back.. if i dun care.. whose goin to handle my brother nonsense to let him stay at home? if he makes noise.. whose going to let mummy go work peacefully.? jus him alone.. can make ppl go HAYWIRE. SERIOUS.. u come handle him la.. everytime on the phone sae "hais i also duno how to handle him." =.=!! u are his father lehs.. u tell me u dunno.. u expect me to know ma?? now i'm having my holidays and here i am trying to be his part time nanny.. and u dont seem to offer any help at all lehs? so i tell u.. i've decided.. ASK HIM TO GO STUDENT CARE TML (MON) AND ON TUES. none of my business liao.. cos i dont think spending time with him makes any difference to the attitude he has for me.. hes still as rude.. still as taking things for granted.. so why should i? after all its MY holidays sir... 2 days rest i think its not too much to ask for..
i now de one giving attitude in the house.. come scold me more lor.. i think i wont have any feeling also ba.. maybe angry and sad.. but i dont think it will change after a long time i guess.. today de event is also another evidence le.. went pasir ris park for him to play his skates.. both of us asked u to park at bicycle rental shop there.. u sae DON WAN LA.. bring u all here good le.. still wan make noise.. first thing i wan to sae is.. BE CAREFUL with ur words la.. U ALL U ALL.. is HIM ba.. not me pls. and i wouldnt give it a damn i think.
so he park at the place he wanted.. first thing is.. i isolated myself to the beach there.. wad for be with them when i think i'm unwanted. (tell me i'm wanted pls).. and after a long time when i went back.. mummy sae they go rent bicycle le.. =.= fine lor. after tat phone call came.. "u wan ride bicycle.?" i said "dont need and byebye." sae i'm attitude or wadever.. cos i jus dont feel hes doin it willingly.. ah boy wanted to ride bicycle then u come ask me.. i.. i dont understand.
wad should i do? come ppl tell me pls. tell me how should i go on from here.. give me some word of advice.. give me some strength.. somehow i feel like i'm feeeling de same as how i felt everytime i go for piano lessons.. shit.
this few days keep goin hospital to visit ah ma.. *touched when i heard kor kor told ah ma tat next time when he see her must be able to walk.. ah ma kept quiet.. hahas. everyday almost every meal time went to visit her.. quite tiring.. but really wished that she get well soon so everyone can get together again.. after experiencing wad happen after ah gong pass away... everyone of us at my father side jiu zhe yang de.. san le.. we dont come together as often as before.. ah ma now is jus like the pillar of everyone.. stay strong and be well ok?
byebye
if u are a guy, stop ur nonsense pls.
